If Relationships Are 50/50, Then Why Am I Doing All The Household Chores?


You could have the greatest boyfriend or husband in the world. He could be sweet and kind and do everything that you ask him to do. The problem is, many times you have to ask him to do something rather than him just doing it on his own. Is this a bad thing? Does this mean that he isn’t pulling his own weight in the relationship when it comes to the household chores? Does it seem like you are the one that does most of the work in the relationship and or household? Not necessarily.

Perhaps you are only noticing the things that you wish he would contribute to the relationship or things you expect him to do and you aren’t seeing all the that he does.

If you have to ask (or beg) him to wash the dirty dishes that have been sitting in the sink for 2 days, and you are the one that handles all the finances in your home, buys the groceries, cooks, cleans, does the laundry, etc. (or most of the above) you might be wondering if things are 50/50. But stop and take notice of the things that he does.

Does he do such things as checking the oil in your car, fix things around the house, mow the lawn, and hang pictures up for you? Does he open jars that are too tough for you to open, and reach things that are too high for you to reach? Maybe he is pulling his own weight.

If you think your spouse or significant other isn’t contributing enough to the relationship, talk about it and divide up the work. Give him some more responsibilities. Delegate and assign tasks for him to do (in a nice way and not like not like a drill sergeant giving orders).

If he hasn’t been doing so, give him the responsibility of things like making the bed every morning, and if you cook, have him help wash the dishes after dinner. If he cooks, you clean the dishes. If he has a certain area of the house as his area, like the garage or his office, then ask him to keep this space tidy. Think of other things that he can do to make the division of the work around the house more equal.

So take notice of all that he does do, if he isn’t helping enough, give him some responsibilities that belong to him only. Maybe he isn’t helping enough because he doesn’t know what’s expected of him. Maybe other people have done those things for him in past relationships and/or you have never suggested that you wish for him to do more in the relationship and household.

I’m not sure if you can say it is so clear-cut and things should be 50/50 exactly. Sometimes it might be 60/40 or 70/30, either with you or him doing more in the relationship, but the trick is to keep the scales balanced and swinging both ways.

Hello! My name is Anna and I am the editor of this site, wedding designer, artist. I love life as it is, and I also keep my wedding blog.